


The Squires' Tale

by JohnAmendAll



Category: Doctor Who (1963), Girl Genius
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-31
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-05-10 18:49:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5596873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JohnAmendAll/pseuds/JohnAmendAll
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mordred's worldwalking incantation seems to have brought him and three others to entirely the wrong Universe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Squires' Tale

**Author's Note:**

> From an [Ersatz Genremixer](http://www.seasip.info/Misc/genremixer.html?people=Susan:Ian:Barbara:Vicki:Steven:Katarina:Dodo:Polly:Ben:Jamie:Victoria:Zoe:Liz:Jo:Sarah%20Jane:Leela:Romana:Adric:Nyssa:Tegan:Peri:Mel:Ace:Lucie:Rose:Mickey:Jack:Martha:Donna:Amy:Rory:Clara:Ashildr:Sapphire:Steel:Silver:Lead&cpp=0&tpp=0&prompts=10&tl=6&nsfw=false) prompt: _cursed & immobilisation & castle in the clouds_

"They still at it?" Shou Yuing asked. 

Ace put her ear to the wall of the cell that adjoined theirs, and listened. 

"I have cast the runes of worldwalking more times than I can count," Mordred was insisting. "Never before have they led me astray." 

"Was it not said among the knights of the Round Table that you could not count beyond five?" Ancelyn's voice retorted. "If your incantation had not been in grave error, we should not be in this strange world." 

"My incantation was flawless! It is you that have brought a curse upon our enterprise." 

"How so? I was not permitted so much as to look upon the implements." 

"By appointing women as our squires," Mordred sneered. "Weak damsels barely out of childhood are no fit henchmen for a true knight." 

"Weak?" Ancelyn repeated. "Ace and Shou Yuing are no shrinking maidens. They have the hearts of mighty warriors." 

"To Ancelyn the Craven, no doubt, even a woman seems formidable..." 

Ace drew away from the wall. "Yeah," she said. "They're still at it." 

"If only they'd stop arguing and start thinking." 

"Never gonna happen. They're blokes, aren't they? They can't say they're wrong. It'd be like admitting your car was slower than the other geezer's." 

"We haven't done any better," Shou Yuing reminded her. "We're still locked up, too." 

Ace's expression suggested this was a minor inconvenience. "OK, but at least we've got more of an idea what's going on out there. We need to make sure when we make our move, it's the right one." 

"Yeah. Like not using so much explosive that we blow this whole airship out of the sky. One of those cans of yours is far too much." 

"Spoilsport." 

"Hey, you know I'm as fond of a big bang as the next girl." Shou Yuing winked at Ace. "But sometimes you've got to be subtle. Anyway, we need to decide what we do when we've got out of here." 

Ace thought back over the fragments of conversation she'd overheard. "That Count Worms-for-brains said he needed best speed for Belostok," she said. "So if he wants best speed, we want no speed. We want to blow up the engines." 

"It's always blowing something up with you, isn't it?" 

"Always." 

"OK, then." Shou Yuing produced what looked like a tube of toothpaste from her jacket pocket, and started squeezing it into the keyhole of the cell door. "I'll do the door, you do the engines." 

⁂

"What have you done?" Count Wormscheltz demanded, raising his arms heavenwards. "Fools! With your ignorant tampering you have delivered us into the Baron's hands!" 

Ace and Shou Yuing, restrained by nervous-looking guards, took care not to catch each other's eye. Bursting out laughing at this point would have been highly inadvisable. 

"I could have had everything! Power! An army of revenants! The favour of the Other herself! And all for nothing! I'll destroy you! I'll destroy—" 

He broke off, as the sunlight shining through the dome overhead was suddenly dimmed. A vast airship, a whale to the minnow that they were on, was above them, slowing to match its speed with the crippled vessel. Turret after turret aimed its guns at them. 

" _Hand of Destruction_ ," an artificially amplified voice boomed. "This is the _Castle Wulfenbach_. You are surrounded. Surrender and prepare to be boarded." 

"No!" The Count clutched at his hair. "This is your doing, you meddling girls! You will pay for this with your lives!" 

He snatched a gun from his nearest minion, pointed it at Ace— 

And a powerfully-built man wearing a red-glazed visor over his eyes swung down on a rope and plucked the weapon from his hand. 

"Fear not!" he proclaimed. "Your captivity is over — for I, **Othar Tryggvassen** 〜 _Gentleman Adventurer_ 〜 have arrived in the nick of time!" He jumped to the floor, casually swatting the Count aside, and advanced on Ace and Shou Yuing. Their guards took one look at him, and fled. 

"Come, there is no time to lose!" Othar went on. "We must make our escape before the infamous Baron drags the pair of you to his seraglio!" 

"Is everyone round here like this?" Shou Yuing asked the Universe in general. 

Othar took no notice of the question. "I should perhaps mention," he added, in slightly less resounding tones, "I have an opening for a plucky girl sidekick at the moment. Perhaps one of you would be interested?" 

Ace shook her head. "Sorry. I'm already that for about three people so far." 

"If you both want the job, you'd have to fight for it, of course," Othar went on, apparently impervious to any sort of interruption. "I'm sure I can find some suitable bathing costumes and a tub of—" 

"Villain, unhand my squire!" Mordred shouted, bursting out of the companionway with his sword at the ready. 

"'Your' squire," Ancelyn repeated mockingly, making his own entrance from the opposite side of the chamber. "Ha! For the past hour you have done nothing but insult the fair Ace. But let some half-witted vagabond take the slightest interest in her, and behold the result! I wager you shall be begging her favour before the day is out." 

"I have no time to bandy words with a straw-headed greenhorn," Mordred replied. "And this peasant — Ha! — I had hardly noticed him!" 

"A mistake that many of your kind make," Othar replied. "But now, I, **Othar Tryggvassen** 〜 _Gentleman Adventurer_ 〜 shall put an end to your reign of terror!" 

Ancelyn laughed. "It would seem that even this lackwit has fathomed your true character, Mordred." 

"And as for you," Othar went on, turning to him, "You are plainly part of the Count's lair of unspeakable evil. You will face me, villain!" 

"It will be to your sore cost," Ancelyn replied, drawing his sword. "Do you not know that I am the best knight in the world?" 

Ace nudged Shou Yuing. "Might as well leave them to it," she said. 

"Except we need Mordred for the world-walking." 

"Suppose so. And Ancelyn for whatever's going on in their world — if we ever get there. I mean, those two hate each other's guts. Something that makes them team up? It's got to be big." 

Shou Yuing nodded. "So we need to stop them playing stupid games here, get them away from this Baron, and get us all to their world before anyone actually gets hurt." She looked at what was, by now, a three-way broadsword fight. "Tall order." 

"Yeah." Ace flashed her a smile. "But we're the girls to do it."


End file.
